Despite her young age, Hella Könnyü already has a very serious activist past in Debrecen. At the age of 23, she is the mother of a three-year-old boy, a regular participant in the demonstrations in Debrecen, a founding member of the Mi Vagyunk Debrecen project, and she also took a big role in the creation of a non-profit organization called Cíviscolors that helps LGBTQ people in Debrecen.
How did you get into public life in Debrecen?
In high school, I became a victim of classic bullying, and it was my class teacher who bullied me. Because I went horseback riding, I was exempted from physical education, but it was only in December, in the middle of the school year, that it became clear that although I had submitted the certificate, it had been lost somewhere. My class teacher interpreted this as meaning that my 30 uncertified hours had accumulated and that I would not have to attend after Christmas. However, he did not count on the fact that I was aware of my rights through my mother, who is a social pedagogue, and I confronted him about the fact that after a certain number of unauthorized lessons, the parents must be notified regularly. Since this did not happen, I managed to discuss with the director that I would resubmit this otherwise existing certificate. After that, my class teacher crossed me wherever he could. I was left out of everything, and in the end, my classmates didn’t even talk to me, and nobody sat next to me. I also transferred to another high school.
So I became aware of how much injustice was done to me, and although I stood up for myself, I know that there are many people who might not be able to do this on their own. So my desire for social justice led me to politics and public life.
So nothing was more natural than joining Jobbik…
More precisely, the youth section of the party. They were simply available, I had contact with them through family friends. We organized the demonstration after the 2018 elections together, at which time I also got to know the representatives of other opposition parties. In Jobbik, I felt before that it was not my community of values, and when I saw a suitable alternative, I transferred to Momentum. But I have not been active here since 2020. My son was born in the meantime, and that’s when I started working for Amnesty International. I realized that the framework of party politics is too strict for me. I was more attracted to more ideological things than party or economic politics. We organized the Freedom Club events with Amnesty, for which I saw that there was not too much demand from the local population. The majority of the audience was foreign students. Then came Covid, and at that time we could only hold online events (there was one with Bernadett Szél and Rita Antoni). In the end, I settled on Cíviscolors. I would like the organization to stand on its own two feet within a few years, and they would no longer need me.
What was the problem with Jobbik?
Primarily their attitude to the LGBTQ topic. I felt that, for example, I could no longer identify with their jokes, and in many cases, they generated arguments between me and my colleagues from Jobbik. But I was also aware that it was not my task to reform Jobbik’s views on LGBTQ. I didn’t always like their attitude towards women either, but I had no problem with the national sentiments and patriotism itself. However, I feel that the Hungarian right-wing appropriates these topics a little unfairly.
Will Debrecen Pride take the form of a Budapest parade in the foreseeable future?
We would like to. It certainly won’t happen this year, but we will organize a discussion with the cooperation of the Hungarian LGBTQ Association, the motto of which will be “From Persecution to Pride”. We have plans for a parade in Debrecen next year or within a few years.
Where would the location be? On Kossuth Square?
We haven’t planned a specific route yet, even Kossuth tér can be considered, but we would definitely like to visit Békás lake. I would also support it if we followed the route of previous climate protests. It started from Békás-tó and the team arrived at Kossuth Square.
Would there be a sufficient number of interested parties for such a movement?
It certainly would be, especially if we organized this not only as an event in Debrecen but also as an event in Eastern Hungary. In addition to members of the queer community, a significant number of sympathizers would probably also participate in the parade, and we would be especially happy if supportive parents would also appear in the crowd.
How do people relate to the topic of LGBTQ in Debrecen? It is as if the acceptance of the members of the community is somewhere halfway between that of an average Hungarian village and the population of Budapest.
Exactly right. We cannot expect the residents of Biharnagybajom to have the same attitude towards LGBTQ as the residents of Budapest. It’s just not a priority for them. There is a community whose members they may never have met in person, and for them, the rise in food prices, for example, is a much bigger problem.
In this regard, I also see a kind of bad communication on the part of the people living in the inner districts of Budapest by prioritizing identity politics. For them, this topic is extremely important, while for rural people it is multifaceted. These are very difficult to reconcile.
Don’t LGBTQ people living in small towns feel that you care less about them?
We also reach them, Cíviscolors also has several members who live in Hajdú-Bihar villages. Of course, it is an advantage if the person attends secondary school in Debrecen because it is much easier to reach him through his schoolmates.
Do you deliberately not make your events big?
We do not hide, but our events are not usually publicized by the press because Cíviscolors operates as a grassroots self-help organization and not as an activist organization. We also recruit new members through acquaintances, and our programs are not specifically aimed at the general public. It is already planned that we will strive for greater publicity, but this is still a very young organization, it just celebrated its first birthday a few days ago. We now have a stable internal organizational structure.
Are you afraid of provocation in Debrecen?
Not really. Debrecen is so politically apathetic that we don’t have to fear such a thing. So far, I have not been a provocateur at any of our public events, nor at our demonstration against the so-called “child protection law” last year.
What do you mean by apathy?
People hardly participate in political events. In recent years, perhaps only the solidarity demonstration for the Ukrainians has moved them the most. But even that was not more than 120 people. An event of this caliber in Budapest moves tens of thousands. In addition, the same faces almost always appear in Debrecen, and an even greater number of foreign students flock to them. I think the distance from politics stems from the nature of Debrecen as a gateway because, in addition to the fact that many people come here to study, the majority of young people are oriented towards Budapest even after graduation.
Why do young people want to leave here?
The lack of cultural diversity can play a significant role in this. They find few opportunities in Debrecen.
Do you have any relationship with the city administration?
We are in contact with some opposition representatives, but we do not have any joint projects with the specific city administration. We are an informal group, and if we become an association, it is possible that we will go in this direction as well. Our Safe Place sticker campaign pushes us out of our own little bubble the most.
Safe Place, what is this about?
We gather the service providers and catering establishments in Debrecen that support members of the LGBTQ community. That way, a same-sex couple can safely go to these places, and if an atrocity happens to them, the owner or operator will defend them. Therefore, in return, we promote them on our own website and on our Facebook page. There is, for example, a hairdresser on our list who will not mind that a man should cut a feminine hairstyle or vice versa.
Was there a service provider who said no to cooperation?
There was, yes. The reason was that he did not want to identify his service with politics and did not want to take a position on it.
Wouldn’t members of the non-hetero community be safe in Debrecen without it?
So far, we don’t know of any serious atrocities that have befallen them, but in the current political climate, we can’t be sure of anything. We can remember that last year, for example, a girl with a rainbow bag was beaten after a football match. But LGBTQ people are still occasionally attacked in Western Europe, which is much more accepting than Hungary.
Do non-hetero couples have to hide in Debrecen today?
I’ve seen same-sex couples walking hand in hand in the city, except for men. This also includes the fact that society accepts physical contact between women much more than two men hugging each other on the street. By the way, there is a club in Debrecen that organizes a party specifically for gays every month. At least here they can be themselves and do what they want.
What is the current number of Cíviscolors?
Currently, we operate with 20 active members, of which six members form the presidency, in addition to them there are around 14 permanent members, and the circle of sympathizers in the broader sense includes about forty people.
How open are the schools in Debrecen to a potential educational presentation?
The most common answer from the educational institutions is “good, we’ll talk about it later”. Then somehow, the right time never comes.
What are your plans and programs for the next few months?
We are currently participating in the solidarity project of Budapest Pride, which includes the organization of larger, so-called inclusion events (joint bowling, baking, etc.). We are scheduled until September, and then we plan for the following months. In the summer, we plan more relaxing and entertaining events, but in the fall, our more serious programs dealing with politics and public life start.
What kind of answers do you usually give to typical homophobic suggestions? For example, many people come up with the fact that nowadays there are more and more gay people, and on top of that they are even “advertised”…
For example, if I see more black people on TV shows, I won’t become black. Or if there is an autistic child in my son’s daycare group, that doesn’t mean my son will be autistic. I regret that in these situations it is very difficult to transfer knowledge with good intentions. Despite the fact that I link articles to that person, relatively few people can understand how to use social media and the Internet.
Why is the majority of Hungarian society still rejecting gay marriage?
Maybe because it’s not a common thing. They refer to the fact that marriage is a church institution, and they don’t want to feel that it is theirs anymore.
But there is also the possibility of a civil wedding…
Well, that’s it. The legal part cannot be neglected either, since a registered partnership is “worth less” in this regard than marriage.
The adoption of children by non-hetero couples stirs up more emotions than their marriage.
They are obviously afraid that their child will be “like that”. The position of the LGBTQ community in this regard is that gender orientation is a genetically determined thing, and you cannot call a child gay, lesbian, etc. “to bring up”. In addition, the children of a same-sex couple do not only meet this family model, as there are closer and more distant relatives and friends, mostly from their traditional families. The child can understand that the nuclear and classic family models are of the same value, not to mention single-parent families.
As a candidate for UN Youth Envoy, you had the good fortune to meet Deputy State Secretary Zsófia Rácz. What was the experience like?
It was surprisingly good, a pleasant disappointment. She listened to all the presentations with one hundred percent attention and asked good questions. Despite the fact that she was presumably aware of the possible political dislike of the participants, I experienced maximum openness on her part.
